the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

Wanna know what my fave part of the Doctor Who episode was?

gryffindork394:

image

This part. This part right here. God, I was laughing sooooooooo hard, hahahaha! xD

lucifers-ass-cheek:

posts that are only funny because of the fucked up comments part 1 (part 2)

A message from Anonymous
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
A reply from almanzapedia

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

sephyerite:

No mercy.

aarmadillidiidae:

poopflow:

I can’t believe she’s gone

I-G-G-bye

itsstuckyinmyhead:

The Sims Tumblr Posts

mycroftly:

when guardians of the galaxy finished and the credits started, a few people got up and started leaving and i said to my dad “this process is what i like to call ‘weeding out the weak’” and the woman in front of me heard me and laughed so hard she choked on her drink